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How do you break a pattern?

This is question I've been asked a lot. It is possible to break a pattern but you have to be aware of it and where it's coming from first. Even when you recognise and are aware of a pattern it can still come back and make you feel rotten again, bit each time a little less rotten.

First of all:

  • Be aware of what the pattern is,

  • Recognise when a pattern occurs, (you may have more than one).

  • Once you've recognised it, start to be aware of what happens just before, i.e. what triggers it?

  • A 'trigger', something that starts your pattern or puts you into reaction mode, can be something as simple as a word, an interpretation, a smell, a sound etc etc. Start to be aware.

  • Write down how it makes you feel

  • Analyse it; have you ever felt like that before?

  • When was the first time you ever felt like that before?

  • What happened the first time you felt like that before?



I would advise you to see someone like me (!) to work through a pattern, but why? well we all have blind spots. Truly everyone. So trying to look past your own blind spots can be rather frustrating.


Even when a pattern has been recognised and or broken, dealing with it when it comes again can still cause the same emotions as previously, only less intense. Breaking patterns can take time and effort but obviously you are worth it.


I use very simple drawings (level of a 5year old is more than adequate) to go straight to the chart of what's going on.

Annoyingly enough (as I hear often) most patterns originate before we become adults so depending on how old you are they may be very deep rooted, hence the time and effort needed to break them.



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